Toddlers and Tantrums

We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of your shopping run, or a quiet day at the library, or maybe trying to get your errands done as quickly as possible, and it strikes: the LOUDEST, and LONGEST tantrum you have ever seen. Bring it on, Toddler. I’ve got this! IMG_8446 2.jpg

As moms, we learn to read our children quite well. I can tell from the moment my toddler wakes up if he’s going to have a good day, or a bad day, just from his morning routine. Today, was one of those days where I said “oh boy” and waited for it to hit.

Have you ever stopped to think about all the new things a toddler is learning on a daily basis? Toddlers have a lot going on in their tiny little brains. Everything from learning the numbers, letters, manners, sharing, a second language if the parents speak more than one. It’s all new to them, and they’re trying to constantly make parents proud by doing their best. They truly have a lot going on in their brains, and sometimes they don’t know how to deal with it. As adults, we get a coffee break, a little “me time”, and if we’re lucky, a little soak in the bath tub to unwind from a crazy day. Since toddlers aren’t able to communicate exactly what is going on in their mind, or how they are feeling, they lose control and have a tantrum in the middle of whatever errand it is you’re trying to get done peacefully.

I try keep these 5 things in mind when it comes to my toddler having his tantrums. And being 2, I know I am nowhere near the end of this phase with him.

  1. Reassure your child that he/she is a good boy/girl.
    • They can’t control their tantrum, they’ve had a long day, and they’re trying to deal with it the best way they can.
  2. Tell your child that you love them.
    • This may be the most important thing to do. After your child has calmed down a bit, remember to tell them you love them more than anything. Children do not want to upset their parents, and they definitely do not want to disappoint them. Since they can’t really control their tantrums, make sure they know they are not disappointing you, and that you will get through this together. Hug them a little tighter, and sneak in an extra kiss or two.
  3. Remove your child from the situation.
    • Since they can’t really control their tantrums, it is the adults responsibility to help ease the moment. By removing your child from the area, whether be it a play yard, a friend’s birthday party, story time at the library, or if you’re in the middle of your shopping trip, it’s the best thing for them. You can’t stop and try to explain the situation because at that very moment, their mind is going a million miles an hour, and are going to continue to cry and scream and toss their bodies around. Simply remove your child so they can calm down and relax themselves. Don’t worry what other people will think; for those who are parents will all understand what you’re going through.
  4. Talk about your child’s tantrum after he is calm.
    • Aside from telling your child you love them, it is important to sit down and talk things through with your toddler. Some people think since their child is only 2, they won’t understand what is being explained to them. Trust me, they understand everything you say. They may not like it, but they will undstand it.
  5. Don’t lose your cool.
    • I know it’s very difficult to keep calm when your child is having a tantrum, but your actions will either fuel or calm the tantrum. If you yell and scold at your child while they’re having a tantrum, you’re only fueling their tantrum more. They will scream louder, hit harder, kick their feet harder, and maybe even hold their breath so long they will turn pale blue (which is a normal tantrum behavior, by the way). However, if you keep your cool, sit down next to your child throwing the tantrum, maybe patting their back, and helping them calm down, you will still be in control of the moment. At the end of the day, you’re still the adult.

Do you have some other tips on handling a temper tantrum? If so, comment below and share with other mamas who may be going through the tantrum stages.

Stay calm mamas. We’ve got this!

26 thoughts on “Toddlers and Tantrums

  1. Rose says:

    Kids and their attitudes are the worst. That lack of communication and understanding is so frustrating. I’m grateful that my kids didn’t get carried away in public but did act up at home although on a scale of 1 to 10 it was still only like a whiny 4. I always feel so bad for the moms of the child on the floor.

  2. Magen Golden says:

    I am lucky to have a son that will stop his tantrum if I ignore it. After he will get up and come to me to say he is sorry and then we talk about it. I always find that it is important to ignore what others think. They don’t have to raise a proper child like we do.

  3. says:

    All great tips! I just wish I had the same level of patience now as a grandma that I did when my kids were young because my grand-babies learn very fast grandma don’t go for all that screaming.

  4. April J says:

    I agree with every point you made. I had a hard time with my first child (now 11) and we were the first of our close friends and family to have a child so I feel there was far less patience for tantrums all around. As my 14 month old starts these behaviors my husband and I are feeling far more confident in how to handle tantrums when they happen. Great post!

  5. Lawna Y. says:

    These are some great tips! I find that reassuring my daughter and letting her know I love her really tends to calm her down.

  6. annaradmall says:

    I love this! It’s so hard to get caught up in the moment when kids are throwing a tantrum. It’s so helpful to remember that they’re just learning so much and they are overwhelmed.

  7. shfleming1984 says:

    As a new mom, I am waiting for the day our little one has her first “big one”. It is so easy to forget all that we are asking them to do and learn at such a young age. I love the reminder to tell them you love them. It is so simple and meaningful.

  8. cupcake1007 says:

    These are great tips especially keeping your cool while it’s going on. Tantrums and toddlers can be so frustrating because they seem so irrational to you but definitely real to your toddler! Consistency and love are both also really good things to follow and just remember most likely it’s a fad!

  9. Rebecca says:

    You make a lot of great points! I’m learning that my son really doesn’t like me or his dad around when he has a tantrum, so every time I try to rub his back or reassure him during a tantrum it just makes it worse. So I’m trying to respectfully give him some space to process and then provide snuggles and reassurance when he’s open to it. Sometimes it can be really hard to read exactly what our little ones need in that moment, but I definitely think staying calm and lovIng is key!

    • HookedOnStories says:

      I completely agree with you. There are times where my son wants to be alone, so he will just walk to his bed and cry in his bed. When he’s calm, he will return to his activity.

  10. Monica Stephens says:

    We recently started using a “Calm down” jar that I found on pinterest and it seems to be working well so far. Thanks for sharing your tips, sometimes it’s hard to know just what to do when your child has a tantrum like that!

    • HookedOnStories says:

      “Calm Down” jar? I haven’t heard of that. I’ll definitely have to look that one up. Thanks for the feedback.

  11. Brandi says:

    You made some very valid points! Their little brains consume a lot so thanks for sharing your tips. I did some of the same actions when mine were smaller.

  12. Boehme Like Poem says:

    These reminders are great. I like the thought to remove them from the situation and also to tell them you love them. I wrote a post on tantrums as I’m starting to deal with them with our little girl. Thank you for sharing your tips! xx

  13. Krista says:

    I so needed this post today! We are just getting into this tantrum phase and I saw glimpses of it beginning at our trip to Target today! Thanks for sharing!

  14. Erin says:

    I love the reminder not to care about what others think. Our goal should be to teach our children not to impress others. Thanks for the encouragement.

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