We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of your shopping run, or a quiet day at the library, or maybe trying to get your errands done as quickly as possible, and it strikes: the LOUDEST, and LONGEST tantrum you have ever seen. Bring it on, Toddler. I’ve got this!
As moms, we learn to read our children quite well. I can tell from the moment my toddler wakes up if he’s going to have a good day, or a bad day, just from his morning routine. Today, was one of those days where I said “oh boy” and waited for it to hit.
Have you ever stopped to think about all the new things a toddler is learning on a daily basis? Toddlers have a lot going on in their tiny little brains. Everything from learning the numbers, letters, manners, sharing, a second language if the parents speak more than one. It’s all new to them, and they’re trying to constantly make parents proud by doing their best. They truly have a lot going on in their brains, and sometimes they don’t know how to deal with it. As adults, we get a coffee break, a little “me time”, and if we’re lucky, a little soak in the bath tub to unwind from a crazy day. Since toddlers aren’t able to communicate exactly what is going on in their mind, or how they are feeling, they lose control and have a tantrum in the middle of whatever errand it is you’re trying to get done peacefully.
I try keep these 5 things in mind when it comes to my toddler having his tantrums. And being 2, I know I am nowhere near the end of this phase with him.
- Reassure your child that he/she is a good boy/girl.
- They can’t control their tantrum, they’ve had a long day, and they’re trying to deal with it the best way they can.
- Tell your child that you love them.
- This may be the most important thing to do. After your child has calmed down a bit, remember to tell them you love them more than anything. Children do not want to upset their parents, and they definitely do not want to disappoint them. Since they can’t really control their tantrums, make sure they know they are not disappointing you, and that you will get through this together. Hug them a little tighter, and sneak in an extra kiss or two.
- Remove your child from the situation.
- Since they can’t really control their tantrums, it is the adults responsibility to help ease the moment. By removing your child from the area, whether be it a play yard, a friend’s birthday party, story time at the library, or if you’re in the middle of your shopping trip, it’s the best thing for them. You can’t stop and try to explain the situation because at that very moment, their mind is going a million miles an hour, and are going to continue to cry and scream and toss their bodies around. Simply remove your child so they can calm down and relax themselves. Don’t worry what other people will think; for those who are parents will all understand what you’re going through.
- Talk about your child’s tantrum after he is calm.
- Aside from telling your child you love them, it is important to sit down and talk things through with your toddler. Some people think since their child is only 2, they won’t understand what is being explained to them. Trust me, they understand everything you say. They may not like it, but they will undstand it.
- Don’t lose your cool.
- I know it’s very difficult to keep calm when your child is having a tantrum, but your actions will either fuel or calm the tantrum. If you yell and scold at your child while they’re having a tantrum, you’re only fueling their tantrum more. They will scream louder, hit harder, kick their feet harder, and maybe even hold their breath so long they will turn pale blue (which is a normal tantrum behavior, by the way). However, if you keep your cool, sit down next to your child throwing the tantrum, maybe patting their back, and helping them calm down, you will still be in control of the moment. At the end of the day, you’re still the adult.
Do you have some other tips on handling a temper tantrum? If so, comment below and share with other mamas who may be going through the tantrum stages.
Stay calm mamas. We’ve got this!